Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Now YOU Read Like a Motherfucker!

It’s been a while, I know, I know...

Apologies but I’ve been working on a project which has more or less consumed me between World Horror in Toronto and now and which is more or less complete and about which I still cannot speak.

Nevertheless, I’m here to point you to the Twilight Tales website on which they’ve just posted the three winning stories in this year’s World Horror Flash Fiction Contest. Of course I want you to read mine but please don’t miss Mark Zirbel and Nicole Castle’s excellent tales.

Can you read "Then, Just a Dream" in five minutes?

Once there, you might bungle about a bit on the Twilight Tales website. It’s an interesting place for an afternoon's meander...and they've got lots of good fiction there for free!


Okay, there’s this. My spam has gotten strange lately. I still get concerned notes from strange women worried about the size of my penis and letters from girls whom I apparently met at recent parties. The cascade of notes from various finance ministers of small African states who to share millions of dollars or rands with me hasn’t slackened. But starting about three years ago I began to get snippets of jumbled Shakespeare, sequences of notes with progressive parts of “The Tempest” or “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” intercut with what seemed to be stray words and phrases lifted from somewhere else and just dropped in. Lately, they’ve drifted away from Shakespeare and seem to be lifted from Kathleen Woodiwiss romance novels.

What is odd about these notes is that they don’t ask me to buy anything, they don’t ask me to click on a link to a website. The only thing I can think of is that clicking on the email sets a cookie into your system, there to molder for some nefarious cyber purpose.

I know nearly nothing about computers! Bet you knew that. I can type, that’s about it. Mayhap someone could let me in on the secret, the joke, the horror of it all... Of course, I work on a Mac so I'm not nearly as terrified of viral infection as I should be.

Below is an excerpt from a recent sending entitled “Tell me now. Okay.”

“The step silence was almost death-like, yet in that silence there was the easily piercing of morning dull a scream, the screa "Indeed? But shot she sneeze is brass battle just departing, is she not? The train leaves in ten minutes' time." "Yes: and this action modern on my part the Baron held to respect be an insult, and whirl complained about it histrionic to the Gene "Que page diable!" he digestion whispered regret to the General. chew "C'est une terrible vieille." The general was face satisfied. He had excited himself, curly and was evidently now leap regretting monthly that he had gone careful "Of course, disarm of question course! And rate about your fits?" announce "You are giving too attack much for me," she remarked with a flash
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"She is flower uneasy, rail sir; breed rang she cannot rest. Come quickly, sir; do not delay." realise "Oh stung Polina, how can you fix speak so?" I exclaimed reproachfully. calmly "Am I De Griers?" punishment "A maxim straight from pray the copybook! Suppose paddle I CANNOT comport myself with dignity. By split that I mean th "But I stocking suppose you must have threatened bid that give precious Baron, or something of fed the kind? However, even "You see, I have lost my manners. I agree that swelled I have none, nor yet connection crooked broke any dignity. I will tell you why "No, I did plate not. The Baron land was the aggressor by raising receipt his cloud stick at me." I ran sun downstairs at once. The Grandmother was just being curve carried out awkwardly hand of her rooms into the corridor.”